We all know people or have heard about people who are down right bitter, people who are angry with others, some are non-forgiving and some are hurtful towards others. Many psychiatrists have discovered that most people are this way due to not forgiving others. In other words, most people are bitter, angry with others, non-forgiving and hurtful towards others because they are struggling with forgiving someone who has offended them.

As Jesus hung on the cross he said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” Notice no one was asking for forgiveness nor was anyone even acknowledging that they were doing the smallest things wrong.

Just look at what Jesus did, he didn’t wait for someone to ask for forgiveness, he didn’t wait for someone to acknowledge that they did wrong, but he simply turned toward his Father and laid out the forgiveness upfront.

When someone hurts or offends us and skips merrily on their way without saying “I’m sorry” or “forgive me,” this action tends to make it hard for us to digest.

Most people will ask, “Well, how do I forgive when they aren’t asking for it?” If a person asks this and claims to be walking in Jesus’ footprints, they need to examine closely what Jesus actually said and did.

Notice that Jesus addressed himself to the Father, not to the ones who were crucifying him. Notice he didn’t yell down from the cross, he didn’t show any signs of anger, no signs of hatred. Instead he asked God the Father to forgive them.

Forgiveness offered this way has some advantages. It acknowledges that all sin is ultimately an offense first, against God-- not us. It does not overlook sin or minimize the pain and consequences it caused. It places the sin with God, removing it from the realm of any bitterness or desire for revenge on our part. Remember as Christians we are to be peacemakers not peacebreakers. Forgiveness always establishes peace with God, peace within our hearts, and peace towards our fellow man.

If someone will never acknowledge how much they hurt you, and you are struggling with forgiving that person, just remember to try it the way Jesus did. Say, “Father, forgive them” then walk forward in the freedom that Jesus secured for you when he asked the Father to forgive you.

Reverend Darrick Whitfield is Minister and Adult Sunday School teacher at Bibleway M.B. Church in Okolona, MS.